Family Guestbook
"Nothing Short of a Miracle"
Editor's Note: Retired Army Chaplain Roger Benimoff and his wife, Rebekah, were recipients of assistance from the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes in 2009 after his discharge from the military. Rebekah, who now works for the Coalition's Partner Appreciation Program, credits the financial aid the family received with having enabled them to get through some difficult times. The following is an account she wrote about their experience.
Part One – In The Beginning
When my husband was preparing to return home from his second tour in Iraq, we worked hard to prepare for the upcoming changes. Since we had been through two previous year long separations, I thought the adjustment time would be similar to the times before. I knew there would be stress and that it would not be easy, by any means. But it could not hurt that both Roger and I were in the position of learning new marriage strengthening techniques. I was facilitating a marriage-enhancing Bible study through the Protestant Women of the Chapel (PWOC) program, and Roger was heading up a team which was preparing a three-month “Veterans University” to help the troops and families in the 3rd Armored Calvary Regiment (ACR) adjust to being together again.
Roger's passion to help the families spilled over into our conversations as he excitedly shared all that he was learning and working on. We practiced everything he was learning together, first over the phone while he was still in Iraq, and then once he returned, we worked on communication strategies in the evenings after we put the children to bed. He was driven to make this reintegration the smoothest we had encountered yet. He spent hours asking me about my expectations and needs, and went to great lengths to prepare me for his needs and expectations, as well. I honestly believed that my husband's dedication would help us to handle the challenges of re-learning to be a family again. If anyone was prepared for reintegration, we certainly were.
Imagine my shock when six months later my marriage was falling apart. After all the preparations and all the marriage-building strategies we had practiced for months, my chaplain husband – who had been so dedicated to making our marriage the best it could be – was an volatile mess.
